Not unlike any other meeting
Where I had something you wanted
Or you were someone I thought might be useful for a moment
Between sips of wine
Kisses of others
Moon and sun dancing apart
The returning of the same daily time tocks
Same passing buildings and trees
Closing and unlocking of doors
Dirty the dishes to clean to use to clean
The bed to make and make love in and wake without love made
Socks to wash and fold and wear
Consumption of every second
Until no second can be found

We were

There is no more
Whether in thought
Maybe a gesture left in a pocket
Fumbling keys
And jiggling balls
While looking the other way
A stranger passes not noticed

All at once I stop to wonder where the air might be
Why do I feel as if I’ve been holding my breath
Not knowing you
Or if you’ve been breathing all along?

We are aware of our grace by a reflection found swimming in the eyes of others. It is in this way the stars find themselves in a pool in my backyard. I have always wanted a pool.
What is she saying when she says has no regrets? That’s what she said. She sounded like she meant it. But why would she say it. Unless to see it affect me. Her words come like a groom chewing a wine glass. They come and I sit wondering if red or white would be better, sipping and watching her type on the pc. I sip and watch and she can’t se me. She cant see me begin to chew the edge from the glass and then swallow her words while she turns.
She turns. It’s a turn that has taken 10 years. Ten log years of turning and looking over her shoulder for the reaction in my eyes. She turns.
Her turn means nothing and everything all at once and she says she has no regrets.
My reaction is all she wants. If she still cares would she says that. Only if within her she regrets and wants to see if I appear to care as well. Maybe a spark.
I chew my glass and hold myself. I know she’s lying.
Today I won’t let her see me. I am not going to give in. I am not going to be afraid. We will not be sleeping together anytime soon.
I always wanted a pool.

i knew you by choice.
You were a place i sat to breathe.

There was no way to hold you or keep you
so i took you in pieces.

There were others
who have remarked of your grace
or forgotten you completely.

i may not have paid attention
to what you’d wished for me to see.
i can only say i saw you.

i may not have become
that part of you
which you needed
me to be.
i can only say i felt you.

i may not have listened
to every word
you chose to sing.
i can only say i heard you.

My heart is a beautiful sky
known only by treetops
and outer branches.

i cannot paint or draw
this place that is
my heart.

i can only say I knew you